Wednesday, April 6, 2011

3 devastating letters

What do you do when everything you've ever known to be true is slowly ripped away from you? When no matter how tight you hold on to your reality it's not enough to change the inevitable? Tragedy strikes everyone at one point or another... I know this- so why does it come as such a shock?

When my mom was diagnosed with ALS it felt as though I was suffocating. I will never forget that night. I will never forget what I felt when my dad called me to the kitchen table and said: "Tara we need to talk." I knew instantly. I knew that what I was about to hear was going to be devasting. I knew that in a matter of moments my life was going to change forever. ...and then just like that... my mom spoke those awful 3 letters- ALS. To say my reaction was horrid is an understatement! I screamed and sobbed uncontrollably. I said things I regretted and ran from the table because throwing up was all I was capable of. My parents and family did their best to protect me. I was the last to find out as I was 8 months pregnant, and already dealing with a high risk pregnancy- no one wanted to be the cause of me going in to labor yet again. I was angry that I was the last to know. I was angry that I was not in a position to be there for my mom as she dealt with the horrific news. I was angry that I was going to lose her. I was furious that so much of her life was being taken away.

My mom is a fighter! She is strong and beautiful and walks with nothing but grace. She leads by example and her compassion for people shines through everything she does. She has always had an incredible purpose for her life and this trial is nothing more than a way to share with the world that through devastation- peace, grace and love never fail.

I want this blog to bring peace to others suffering from this horrific disease known as ALS. I want grace to shine through everything thats documented. From memories to progress notes to facts and awareness this blog is my tribute to her and her incredible legacy.

1 comment:

  1. Tara,

    I am so sorry you were the last to know! Sometimes our family and friends make decisions like that with the intention of protecting us,
    when in fact, it would have been better to have been privy to the process, to what is happening around us.
    My brother was the one we kept it from, until he was finished with his semester at college, where he was already struggling. I think he had some inkling of what was going on though. But I'm not sure.
    Anyway, I hope you are doing well (as well as you can be) and that we can help each other through these difficult times.

    ~Allison

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